yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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