There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You did what with his pubic hair?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
