how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
