Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
