i just google imaged poop.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
