Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
