I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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