u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
