I don't usually arrange sex via text message
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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