I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
