i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
These tits shall not be calmed
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
