Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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