You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
