one might say we're banned from that church
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Randomize
