I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
When did angry sex become our thing?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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