so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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