My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
