yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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