Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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