My friends, they love my intelligence
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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