she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
