I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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