a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Randomize
