I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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