I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
