I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
