I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
