she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
