Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
