Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
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So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
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Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.