dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
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