And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
