Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
