College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
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i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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