It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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