Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
