HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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