We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
