I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
