Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
