Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
