Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Randomize
