i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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