He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
