I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
How naked do you want me to be?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
