I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
