Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize