Can Purell be used as lube?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
