isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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