i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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