I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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