Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
