You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
