Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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