we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Randomize
