I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
