How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
