How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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