He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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