Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
