she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
organizing the empties. That sober.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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