i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
