I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
