Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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