I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
