so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
