I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It's never too late to be topless.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
