Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
