I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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