He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
